By Elizabeth Ayoola ·
This is undoubtedly Teyana Taylor‘s time.
The multi-hyphenate artist has been clearing the red carpet and awards ceremonies over the past couple of months. Consequently, the 35-year-old beauty has been the center of attention, and that has come with praise. More recently, though, being in the spotlight has also attracted unnecessary criticism.
The latest wave of nitpicking stems from how Taylor showed up at the 98th Academy Awards. According to detractors, the singer was doing “too much.” One Battle After Another, for which Taylor earned a Best Supporting Actress nomination for her work, won Best Picture at the event. After the win was announced, she made her way to the stage alongside filmmaker Paul Thomas Anderson to accept the award. The part that has everyone’s feathers ruffled is that Taylor put Anderson in a playful headlock on the way to the stage. Apparently, that is deemed boorish behavior and inappropriate for the Oscars.
Another occurrence that made its way into internet chatter was the actress’s response to not winning in her category. Weapons star Amy Madigan won Best Supporting Actress, and Taylor almost erupted into a praise dance to celebrate her win, according to internet users. (She really just stood up and started clapping joyously.) They didn’t like that very much, labelling her reaction disingenuous and performative.
Taylor caught wind of the different online criticism and had some things to say about it on X, formerly known as Twitter.
“The world holds so much misery that miserable hearts forget the face of happiness,” her social media post began.
“They grow comfortable being sore losers, so when they see real sportsmanship it unsettles them! like holy water touching a demon.”
Taylor continued, “Because clapping for someone else’s victory requires something many people never learned…how to win with grace & pure joy, and how to lose with grace, chin up & dignity.”
This is a great time to have a conversation about how Black women’s joy is often policed. We’re given rules about how we can express ourselves and where, and it’s usually based on social norms that aren’t created by us. People are chalking up their criticism of Taylor’s behavior to “time and place,” but I’m calling their bluff. That sounds like a box people try to put Black women in, especially when they’re in predominantly white spaces. It also sounds sexist, but that’s a different conversation. If Michael B. Jordan put Ryan Coogler in a headlock to celebrate their wins on Sunday night, I don’t think it would have bothered so many people.
Who determines what behaviors are appropriate and in what social settings? Not us. But because we want to attain certain levels of success or pedigree, we succumb to those norms. And when people like Taylor don’t follow the unspoken social rules, we project and criticize them.
I want us to unhand ourselves from this desperate need for approval when we’re in non-Black spaces. Instead of us trying to shapeshift and adhere to white-influenced social norms, why not challenge others to adjust to ours instead? Even if that means dancing freely to a Beyoncé song in your seat or putting your colleague in a playful headlock because your joy is overflowing.
Let’s also not forget we heavily influence culture, music, film, and so much more. We shouldn’t have to minimize ourselves in spaces where we are pillars.
Taylor likely got to where she is by showing up as her full self—a vibrant, rough-edged, and expressive woman with deep roots in Harlem. Not by pretending to be someone she’s not and being inauthentic to appease others.
The undertone I hear from critics is that if Taylor doesn’t button up and fall in line, she’ll be pushed out of prestigious white places. Or worse, she’ll make it hard for other people of color to get into those spaces because she’s showing up ‘too Black.’ But we should only want to be in spaces where we can show up as our full selves and be lauded for what makes us different.
As Black women, we’re allowed to have our own quirks, and as long as they’re harmless, they don’t have to fit into a mold that makes others comfortable. Give yourself permission to express yourself in a way that feels true, even if it isn’t other people’s cup of tea.